Trying
by confessionsofthenight
Summary: Trying for a baby can be a great experience, but not for Bella and Edward. They've been trying for months with no luck and it's beginning to put a strain on the relationship. When Edward's new assistant starts working for him, they become good friends... It's all innocent though, isn't it? Lemons. Canon couples. OOC.
1. Chapter 1

BPOV

"Edward! I'm back from the store," I shouted as I shut the front door whilst trying to balance the shopping bags. I slowly shuffled into the kitchen, making sure I didn't drop anything and spreaded the bags along the counter top.

I felt Edward come up behind me and wrap his arms around my waist, kissing me on the cheek. "Hey baby." I turned around to face him and leaned up on my tiptoes to press a slow kiss on his lips.

"Guess what I bought today?" I asked, unable to hide the grin from my face.

"Surprise me," he replied, leaning down to kiss me again. I reached behind me and pulled the pregnancy test out of my handbag, pushing it into his chest. Edward looked down and I think his face dropped, but it was so quick I questioned if it happened in the first place, before smiling up at me.

"That's great baby, but do you remember how upset you were when it was negative last month? I don't think it's healthy for you to do this to yourself every month," he said, quietly. I pulled away from his embrace slightly and frowned to myself.

"Of course I remember. I'm hardly going to forget, am I Edward," I said, the hostility clear in my voice, "but we've had sex like twice as much as last month and something feels right." He sighed and pulled away, starting to put away things from the shopping. I huffed in annoyance and left, walking to the upstairs bathroom before excitedly emptying the two pregnancy tests. I sat on the toilet and peed on the stick before setting it on the side, sitting on the edge of the bathtub whilst I waited for the three minutes to be up.

I heard Edward come in but I didn't turn to face him, my eyes focused on the clock.

"I'm sorry, I just hate seeing you upset," he whispered, sitting by me and pulling me to his side. I hummed in acknowledgement of what he said but I was too focused on what I was doing to pay attention to anything else. The three minutes were up and I rushed to get at the pregnancy test. I picked it up and glancing at Edward quickly before looking down at the test. I took a sharp intake of breath and my face crumpled. A few tears fell from my eyes but I wiped them away. _They aren't 100% positive_, I reminded myself. I hastily grabbed the second test and sat on the toilet, not giving a shit if Edward was here still. He cursed under his breath but he didn't bother saying anything. This was a routine of sorts - we'd been doing it for the last 6 months. I put the second test on the counter and paced the room as three minutes passed by incredibly slow. Once time was up, I grabbed the stick off the counter and stared at it in disbelief. _Negative. It's FUCKING NEGATIVE. _I sank onto the floor and cried into my hands. Edward let out a deep breath and picked me off the floor, carrying me to our bedroom. He laid me on the bed and pulled me into his arms as I quietly cried into his shirt.

**This is just to give an idea of what the two of them go through when Bella takes a pregnancy test, hence why it's such a short chapter. Next one up in a day or two... x**


	2. It's Alright

**So, here's the second chapter... Enjoy! x **

BPOV

I woke up in bed alone. It was dark out and I groaned, knowing my sleeping pattern would be fucked for the next few nights. I rolled out of bed, pulled on some sweats and left our bedroom. I could see the lights were on downstairs and I could hear the TV so I made my way down the stairs and saw Edward sat on the sofa. I walked over to him and sat in his lap, he smiled up at me and I smiled back, "Sorry about earlier."

"It's fine Bella, I've moved on already," he replied, switching the TV off. He cupped my cheeks and pulled my face down to his, kissing me. I deepened the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him as close as I possibly could. After a few minutes Edward pulled away, both of us breathing heavily.

"I've gotta go to bed, it's half one and I have to be at the office for eight."

"Okay," I said quietly, "I love you."

"Love you too baby," Edward replied. I moved from his lap and pulled the blanket over from the back of the sofa, covering myself with it. Edward headed towards the stairs but turned back towards me, "You coming up?"

"Soon," I replied, smiling. I turned on the TV and watched shitty re-runs until I managed to fall asleep again.

I woke up to Edward softly shaking me, "Bella, its half seven and I've gotta go to work."

"Okay I love you, I'll see you when you get home. Oh, and sorry I didn't come up last night," I replied, rubbing my eyes.

"It's alright, love you too baby," he said, pecking me on the lips. I watched him leave and then stretched, my muscles feeling tense. Once I felt properly awake, I went into the kitchen, grabbed a glass of orange juice and some fruit before booting up my laptop and getting to work on my latest article.

EPOV

I pulled up at work for five to eight and figured it was enough time for a quick cigarette. I was an occasional smoker, being that I only smoked when I was really stressed and I was really fucking stressed. Bella and her obsession with having a baby is driving me to insanity. I want a baby with her, I love the idea of a mini us running around our house but Bella was letting it take over our lives. When we decided to have a baby, we said we wouldn't stress about it, we'd just have sex like usual minus contraception of any form but after a few months Bella got frustrated even though I assured her it can take months, sometimes years to conceive and we'd only been trying for two months – she wouldn't listen. She became consumed with want for a baby and started researching tips on how to conceive faster and has insisted on days she ovulates we have sex as many times as we possibly can. She takes pregnancy tests every month and each month I have to look at her devastated and crying when the test comes up negative. I don't know how much longer I can watch her hurt herself.

After a needed smoke, I made my way into work and took the lift up to the sixth floor. I was a lawyer for a large firm and had to come into work early to meet my new assistant so I could show them around. I walked towards my office to find a young woman stood outside. She had dark blonde hair, curled, with big blue eyes. She wore a tight pencil skirt and very high heels. She looked tall, maybe 3/4 inches shorter than me – probably about 5"11.

"Can I help you?" I asked, smiling.

"I'm Tanya Denali, Mr. Cullen's new assistant?" She replied, blushing.

"Oh, I'm Mr. Cullen, but call me Edward. It's nice to meet you," I said holding out my hand. She shook my hand whilst grinning at me.

"It's nice to meet you too Edward. Are you gonna show me round? I'm scared of getting lost," she said, giggling quietly.

"Yeah, well behind you is my office, as you probably know, down here is the main meeting room," I said, walking off, her trailing behind me. I spent the next half an hour walking her round, making sure she knew where everything was and a further half hour sat in my office talking through the kind of jobs she'd be doing for me. I also spent a bit of time getting to know her. I found out Tanya was 26, a year younger than me, had two sisters (one older, one younger), she lived in an apartment by herself, had an obsession with the Godfather films. We got on really well and I could tell we'd become good friends.

BPOV

"Don't break anything!" Rosalie shouted, warning her three sons before letting them loose on my house. I could barely hide the jealousy I held over Rose, she was so lucky to be blessed with three beautiful sons and to be pregnant with her first little girl. Rose and Emmett had that typical high school sweetheart story but had an unexpected pregnancy with thirteen year old Tyler when Rose was just 19 and Emmett was 20. That's when they moved in together and when Tyler was three, they got married – Rose wanted to wait until she got her body back. When Tyler was five, they had their second son, Michael (who was planned) and a few years later, they had their youngest – four year old Luke. I loved having them over so there was actual children in mine and Edward's home, as it was easier to imagine what it would be like when we had our own kids.

"So, how are you Bella?" Rose asked, sat on the opposite sofa.

"Okay, tired though, I didn't sleep well last night. Although you probably slept worse," I said, giggling.

"I had really bad backache and could not get comfortable at all. It didn't help that because I wasn't sleeping, Emmett presumed I was horny and kept trying to have sex with me… It doesn't matter if I say no, he thinks I will change my mind thirty seconds after he last asked me."

"Do you two not sleep together when you're pregnant?" I asked.

"No we did as frequently as you can with three boys until I was about five months but then it got harder to find positions I was comfortable in and now I'm seven months, something is usually aching and I'm more tired than usual because Luke isn't sleeping properly," she said, looking outside to where the boys were hitting each other with sticks. I laughed at how cute they were.

"How's Edward?" Rose asked, sipping at her water.

"Okay, he's been smoking a lot more, said he's got a big case on and it's stressing him out but we're visiting his parents this weekend so that will hopefully calm him down, besides we both need a break – even it is with his parents in rainy Forks." We chatted for another hour or so until we heard a loud cry from outside and Rose sighed, standing up.

"I guess this is the signal I should be getting them home, Luke will need dinner soon and I'm sure Tyler has homework he hasn't done." I nodded and we shared a hug. She then rounded up the boys and I gave them all a kiss (some were more willing than others) and they left. As soon as the door shut, I felt lonely. Children bring such joy and liveliness to a home, why can't me and Edward just finally have a baby. I could be five months pregnant right now and we'd be decorating a nursery and buying baby clothes… but no. Something isn't fucking working right so nothing is happening. I shook my head of the thoughts and tried to forget about it as I started preparing dinner for when Edward got in.

About an hour later, Edward came into the kitchen with his suit on and a grin on his face. "Hey baby," he said, coming over to kiss me.

"Hey," I said, smiling up at him, "What has you so happy?"

"Well, first I finished all the paperwork due in for Friday and second I met my new assistant today and she's amazing. She helped so much, it felt like I got through all my work twice as fast because I didn't have to make phone calls or do pointless admin – she did it all for me." I couldn't help but feel jealous. Any wife would when their husband came home grinning due to some other woman at work but I tried to seem happy for him so I smiled.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, I'll be down in fifteen minutes." He gave me one last kiss and left. I let out a deep breath and finished preparing dinner. I tried hard not to think of this woman, whose name I didn't know, but it was impossible. I mean I was imagining her as some young, beautiful woman who had an irresistible charm and was single as well as imagining that Edward had a thing for her. For all I knew, she could be some fifty year old woman that Edward thought of as more of a grandma than potential lover but of course my insecurities got the better and I did not imagine her like that in the slightest.

After a quiet dinner with Edward, we decided to watch a film in bed together. I still had this girl on my brain so I hoped Edward would mention her again – I'd get a better picture of her in my head.

Once we were cuddling in bed and our film was almost over there was no mention of her and I tried to forget about it, so, I turned to Edward and kissed him. He kissed me back and deepened the kiss, pulling me so I straddled him. I pulled on the bottom of his top and he pulled apart from my lips, pulling it swiftly over his head before pulling off my t-shirt too. We started kissing again and Edward began to play with my bare breasts, pulling and twisting my nipples. I moaned into his mouth and ground myself down onto his lap, feeling his hard dick underneath me. I reluctantly pulled away and moved down the bed, grabbing the waistband of his sweats and boxers, pulling them down his legs and off his feet, dropping them on the floor. I crawled back up his body and sat just behind his dick, we started kissing as I fisted him, slowly rubbing my hand up and down his shaft whilst taking occasional swipes at the head. After a few minutes, Edward moved his head back.

"Take off your panties," he said, breathlessly. I bit my lip and stood up on the bed, trying to balance on the soft mattress. Edward was staring up at me with hooded eyes as I pulled my panties down slowly, bending down to take them off completely. I threw them off the bed and straddled him again, hovering over his dick. Edward moved his hand to my pussy and started to circle my clit and pushed single a finger in me. I moaned. All too soon, Edward moved his hand away and gripped my hips tightly, I took this as his way of him telling me to sit on his dick already so I grabbed him, moving myself a bit lower and positioning the head at my entrance. I rubbed it through my wetness a few times before sinking all the way down his dick, now completely joined. I let out a loud moan and he groaned quietly, his grip tightening on me. I just kept my eyes shut for a few moments soaking in the feeling but Edward got impatient and thrust upwards, causing my eyes to shoot open. I placed my hands on his chest and spread my legs a bit wider, starting to move over him, grinding down on him hard. Edward's cheeks were flushed and his eyes kept closing, he looked so sexy which made me move faster, my movements getting more frantic.

"Fuucckkk. Bella," he groaned. He sat up, pushing him deeper in me and bit my lip before kissing me deeply. His one hand was round my back, holding me close to him whilst I felt the other one snake up my thigh, towards my pussy. He started to rub tight circles on my clit and I moved faster, almost there. I moved my head so it rested on his shoulder and bit his shoulder. Fuck it felt good.

"Ah, so, so close…" I moaned out. Edward thrusted up harder and rubbed my clit faster, pushing me over the edge with a load groan. Edward kept going and by the time he came, I'd come a second time.

"Fuck baby girl," he said, kissing me deeply. I smiled dreamily at him and sat for a moment, delighting in my post coital bliss before moving off Edward so he could go clean up in the bathroom. I loved knowing that right now I could potentially be one step closer to becoming a mommy.


	3. Family

**Hey everyone, I first want to apologize for the delay on this chapter. My boyfriend's brother died unexpectedly a few weeks ago so I've been caught up in grief and helping my boyfriend and his family as much as I could. This isn't a great chapter at all but it's just a filler for the next one I'm posting tomorrow x**

BPOV

It's now Friday and Edward and I are on our way to Forks, to stay with his parents for the weekend. It was my turn to drive and Edward was making light conversation with me – talking about something he'd done with Emmett and Jasper earlier this week.

Edwards phone started ringing, "Hello?" he said, "Oh hey Tanya, how's it going? Yeah I'm fine, driving to see my parents with Bella…No, I'm there all weekend but you can email me the case and I'll look through the client's profile whilst I'm here… Yeah, alright. Bye!" Edward shut off his phone and put it back in his pocket.

"Everything alright?" I asked, looking over at him briefly.

"Yeah, I've just been given a new case so Tanya's sending me this new clients profile so I can look through it – see what I'm working with." I nod but don't reply. I know I can trust Edward but I can't help but feel insecure and edgy whenever he mentions his assistant, Tanya.

About half an hour later we pulled up to the Cullen's house after not seeing his parents for two months and I could tell Edward was really looking forward to seeing his parents again. I loved Edward's parents – they'd treated me like their own since they first met me, but I was grateful this was a family dinner. So Emmett (Edward's older brother) would be there with Rose and their boys and Esme would be so busy spoiling her grandkid's, she wouldn't ask about us finally having children of our own. Edward's father, Carlisle, greeted me with a hug and kiss on the cheek before leading us into the dining room where everyone was seated already. I sat next to Edward with Rose opposite me, Emmett opposite Edward and Esme and Carlisle were at the heads of the table. The three boys had already eaten and Michael and Luke were watching a film whilst Tyler was on his laptop, most likely on facebook.

"So Edward, how are you?" Esme asked, smiling at her son.

"Alright," he said, shrugging his shoulders. She rolled her eyes at his short answer and turned her attention to me.

"And you, Bella? How's work going?"

"I'm fine, works stressful. I've got three deadlines next week on articles I've barely started to write yet."

"Knowing you, you'll finish it… You're very determined." I smiled at her and went back to my food.

"So, Edward, I heard you got a banging new assistant," Emmett said, grinning at him. Edward had a hand on my thigh and it tightened upon Emmett's words.

"Uh, I've not really noticed and, anyway, even if she was, she'd have nothing on my Bella," he said, hesitantly, obviously trying to not upset me. He turned to me and kissed my cheek before shooting a warning look to Emmett who just smirked back at him.

"Bella, I was wondering if you'd come shopping with me next week for baby clothes? Emmett says we can just put him in hand-me-downs but my baby girl isn't wearing boys clothes," she said, frowning.

"Of course, I'd love to," I said smiling, maybe I could see if there was anything I might want for mine and Edward's baby.

Dinner went by smoothly, apart from the odd uncomfortable joke Emmett would crack but that was expected if you took him anywhere. After we ate, we all sat in the living room and I was fortunate enough to be squashed between Tyler and Emmett whilst Edward was talking to his dad in his office. I glanced over at Tyler's laptop screen and noticed he was talking to a girl.

"Whose the girl, Ty?" I asked, nudging him gently. He jumped slightly and turned to glare at me jokingly.

"You're just like my mom, always wanting to know who I talk to…"

"Yeah well, are you into her?"

"I think so. I haven't known her long so I'm just getting to know her. Her name's Daisy," he said, clicking on her profile and pointing to her in a picture. She had long blonde hair, green eyes and a splattering of freckles over her cheeks, as well as a fairly large amount of cleavage being shown for a 13 year old.

"She's really pretty," I said, fairly impressed, "but don't you think she needs to get some new tops, or at least change the angle she takes pictures at?"

"I'm not complaining," he said, smirking. That right there is how I knew he was Emmett's son , they both loved boobs and from what Edward has told me, Emmett was a little pervert from about the age of ten. I laughed lightly and looked away, not wanting to eavesdrop on their conversation anymore than I had already.

After an hour or so, Edward was still gone and I was getting tired, so I said goodnight to everyone and went upstairs to Edward's old room, making sure I went past Carlisle's office on the way. I poked my head round the door but no one was in there so I continued down the hall. I could hear the showed running before I entered the room and smiled to myself, knowing there was an extremely naked, extremely wet and extremely attractive Edward meters away. I shook my head, as if it would rid my mind of the perverse thoughts running through my mind and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. As I brushed my teeth Edward emerged from the shower and came up behind m, kissing my cheek. I smiled at him through the mirror and he left the bathroom whilst I finished getting ready.

When I went back into Edward's room, he was lying in bed, grinning at me.

"What?" I asked, feeling slightly self-conscious. He just opened his arms and I walked to him, straddling his lap. He grabbed my chin and pulled my face down to his. "You're so pretty," he whispered. I kissed him and hugged him tightly. Moments like this made me feel like I was irrational in thinking Edward would ever cheat on me, when his love for me was so blatantly obvious.

"I love you," I whispered and kissed him again, he tightened his grip on me and deepened the kiss. We made love quietly and slowly before falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

The next morning I woke up quite early and made my way downstairs, making sure I was quiet, as I didn't want to wake Edward up. As I got closer to the kitchen, I could hear more and more noise, the most distinctive being Emmett's voice. I rounded the corner and saw Emmett sat at the table with the younger two boys. He was trying to help Michael with homework whilst read a book to Luke.

"Do you want some help?" I asked, smiling.

"Oh my god, yes please," he replied, over dramatically. I came and sat next to Luke, he crawled into my lap and pointed to the book. As I started reading, he sucked his thumb and used his other hand to play with my hair. I managed to keep control of my emotions but this is exactly what I wanted, a little child placing all their trust in me and feeling completely comfortable with me. I wanted to come downstairs and find Edward sat at the table with our children and I wanted to help them with homework and read them stories. Emmett and Rose didn't realize how lucky they were.

Once I finished reading, Luke ran off to get another book and Emmett smiled sympathetically at me from across the table, my emotions were probably plastered on my face.

"It will happen you know," he said, "and it will happen when you least expect it."

"I hope so," I replied, sighing. Emmett opened his mouth but before he had a chance to respond, Esme fluttered into the room and started preparing breakfast.

**I just want to say thank you for everyone who has put this story on alert, I really appreciate it x **


	4. Confessions

**Hello again! Importantish A/N at the bottom x **

BPOV

After a nice weekend with Edward's parents, who would be coming to stay with us in a couple of weeks, Edward and I headed home late Sunday night. We arrived home at around eleven and decided to order in some Chinese food. Half an hour later, we were both sat on the sofa eating whilst watching Pineapple Express. It was one of his favourite films and he seemed stressed lately, so watching it was the least I could do.

Edward laughed throughout the whole film, so I was surprised he actually managed to eat anything, let alone finish all his food. But once the film had finished and we'd both finished eating, he pulled my feet onto his lap and turned to face me.

"I might be home late tomorrow, I have a meeting with my client at four and then me and Tanya will need to start on the paperwork otherwise it will pile up," he said, smiling at me apologetically. _Great, he's spending his evening with his whorey assistant. Not that I know she's a whore, but she probably is. _

"Okay, do you still want dinner?"

"Uh, I'll text you in the morning, I'll have a better idea of what's happening." I just nodded.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow?" he asked, running his fingers up and down the bottom of my leg.

"Writing and I think I'm seeing Alice for lunch," I said, grabbing the hand that was steadily making it's way up my leg. I glared at him playfully and smiled, he just winked and stood up, stretching.

"You coming? It's like half one…" I stood up and made my way upstairs, going straight into the bathroom. We brushed our teeth together and got changed opposite each other - Edward getting into bed in his boxers and me in the t-shirt he'd been wearing today. I cuddled up to his side and kissed him on the jaw, he turned to me and grasped the side of my neck gently, pulling me in for a soft kiss.

"I love you," he whispered, kissing me once again.

"Love you too," I responded, placing my head on his chest, lying there until I fell asleep.

When I woke the next day, Edward had already left for work and I had about two hours until I was due to meet Alice for lunch, so I jumped out of bed, ate some fruit as a light breakfast and put some laundry on. I then took a shower and got ready for the day, deciding I'd stop by Edward's office on the way to Alice to leave him some lunch. I hoped I'd catch a glimpse of Tanya, so I dressed up, wearing a short, summery dress and some nude heels I knew Edward loved. I was meeting Alice at one, and seeing it was half eleven, I left the house, heading for Edward's office… And honestly I was nervous with what I'd find

I pulled up to his building just before twelve and grabbed the food I'd made Edward, tucking it in my bag, before making my way up in the lift to Edward's floor. I made my way down the hall to his office and I could hear him talking on the other side of the door. I knocked and Edward replied with, "Just a sec!"

I heard some movement and a few moments later, Edward opened the door, grinning down at me.

"Hey baby, what are you doing here?" he said, hugging me and kissing me on the forehead.

"I brought you some lunch," I said, reaching into my bag and pulling out his food, handing it to him.

"You wanna come in for a bit?" he said, opening the door wider. I nodded and stepped round him, surprised to see the room empty.

"I thought I heard you talking?" I asked, sitting at a chair in front of his desk.

"I was on the phone, although. Tanya is due down here in about five meetings with notes from the meeting she attended on my behalf…" I just smiled at him whilst he started eating some of the food I gave him. A few minutes later, the door opened and in entered a beautiful, blonde woman. _Please don't be Tanya, please don't be Tanya, please don't be Tanya. _

"Hi, I'm Tanya," she grinned, holding out her hand. I stood up but wasn't as tall as her and I already felt stupid next to her, but I smiled in response and shook her stupid fucking hand.

"Bella, nice to meet you."

"Oh! Your Edward's wife," she said, smiling warmly at Edward.

"She is indeed," Edward replied, taking the files out of Tanya's hands and spreading them out along his desk.

"I better be off if I'm going to meet Alice in time. It was great meeting you Tanya," I said through clenched teeth.

"And you, Bella. I hope to see you soon." Edward walked over and kissed me, whispering an 'I love you' in my ear before waving me off from his door. As I left the building, and drove towards the restaurant, I couldn't shake the feeling of dread in my bones and I was tempted to turn the car around and demand Edward never spoke to her again. Something about her was just… wrong.

Half an hour later I was sat opposite Alice in a small, French restaurant.

"So you two are getting more serious?" I asked, referring to her five-month relationship to Jasper, Edward's best friend.

"I think so, I mean we stay over at each other's places at least four times a week and I can just feel that things between us are changing – but in a good way."

"Well, I'm happy for you. I miss being it the beginning of a relationship, when you don't know what's gonna happen and you're still discovering each other… Not that I don't enjoy being married because I do," I said, smiling.

"I understand, so how is the Cullen household?" she said, taking a sip of her drink.

"We're alright. Can I ask you something?" I said, knowing I should talk to someone about Tanya. Alice squinted at me and nodded, giving me the go ahead.

"Edward has this new assistant and Edward is really keen on her and I was holding out hope that she'd look like a troll or something, but I dropped him some lunch before I came here and she's really beautiful. Like that kind of pretty where you cant decided if you want to pour acid over her face or stare until you cant hold your eyes open any longer but I'm starting to feel really insecure and although I trust Edward completely, I don't trust her in the slightest," I said, glad I'd finally spoken to someone about it.

"Well –"

"She looks like a home wrecking whore," I added and Alice laughed,

"As I was going to say, the only thing I can suggest is talking to Edward about it, once it's out in the open you'll feel a lot better and you know that I could spend hours talking about this, but the only person who can really reassure you is Edward," she said, giving me a pointed look.

"I know, you're right… I'll talk to him tonight," I grumbled. Alice smiled smugly at me and went back to eating.

EPOV

"So, shall we start on the admin?" Tanya said, sitting opposite me at my desk. The meeting with my new client had gone well and we were just getting a head start so we didn't get a backlog of work to do later.

"Yeah, we should," I said, then glancing at the clock, "I should try and be home for six – seven at the latest, so about an hour on this." Tanya nodded and started on a pile of paper whilst I tackled a separate pile.

After twenty minutes or so, Tanya let out a sigh and leant back in her chair, kicking off her heels. "This is reaalllly boring," She said, smiling at me.

"I know, this is the part I always hate but the quicker we get it done, the sooner we don't have to look at these papers again."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Do you wanna take a cigarette break, maybe?" She said, eyes pleading with me.

"How did you know I smoked?"

"I saw a pack in your suit jacket the other day… Well?" Tanya grinned at me. I didn't reply, instead I just stood up and walked to the door, opening it. Tanya got the hint and put her shoes on fast, standing up and running towards me. The lift came fast and soon we were stood outside, puffing on a cigarette each.

'It's nice smoking with someone, I'm normally on my own," I said, watching her out the corner of my eye.

"Does Bella not smoke?"

"Definitely not, she hates that I smoke."

"I happen to think men who smoke are all the more attractive," she said winking at me, followed by her sticking her tongue out.

I laughed. "Real mature Tanya. I actually don't like that I smoke and if me and Bella ever have kids, I'll give it up immediately," I said stubbing out the cigarette.

"You wanna have kids? You two just striked me as a couple who'd be happy with a couple dogs and not want to deal with early mornings," She said as we made our way back in to the building.

"Bella's great with children though, she has a real maternal instinct. I want a child with her, but if I'm being completely honest, I can't imagine myself as a dad… A good one anyway," I said, surprised I had just confessed that to her.

"So you aren't sure about having a baby? If you aren't you should tell her because once she gets pregnant, there's no turning back." We walked back to the office and returned to our previous seats.

"I do want a baby, I know that. I just don't know what kind of a father I'd be," I said, shrugging.

"I think you'll make a great dad."

"Really?" I said, one eyebrow raised.

"I promise."

We continued working and when I looked up, the clock read 6:45. I called it a night, said goodnight to Tanya, and rushed home to my waiting wife.

**Important:**

**I'm on holiday from tomorrow until the 25****th**** July (me and my boyfriend felt the need to get away and recover by ourselves), so my next chapter will be in just over a week. **

**Thanks for all your support x**


	5. Progress

**Hey everyone, really fucking sorry about the delay, I've been travelling – visiting relatives and all that, but I'm home for good now, so chapters should be much quicker, enjoy xxx**

BPOV

I knew Edward was going to be home a bit later than usual but when seven rolled around and he still wasn't home, I was getting nervous. I decided to distract myself and put his food in the microwave so he could reheat it and ran a bath, knowing it would calm me down. At about 7:15 I heard the door slam and the sound of keys dropping.

"Bella?!" he called. I yelled back that I was in the bath and shortly heard the sound of him coming up the stairs. I turned my head just as he entered the bathroom and he smiled at me.

"Mind if I join?" he smirked, pointing at the bath. I shook my head and once he undressed I moved forward so he could fit in behind me. "Sorry I'm late," he whispered.

"It's fine, I left your food in the microwave." Edward pulled me tightly into his arms and drew me as close to him as possible, kissing my neck softly. I pulled away and turned around to straddle his thighs. He leaned in and kissed me softly.

"Have you been smoking?" I asked, tasting it slightly on his lips.

"Uh, yeah. Tanya smokes and managed to convince me. Sorry baby."

"It's fine," I said, and leaned in to kiss him again. He smoked before he met me and almost stopped completely because I didn't like it, so I couldn't get angry if he had the odd one. He deepened the kiss as his fingertips ran up and down my thighs. I grabbed his dick and slowly slid down the length, letting out a deep sigh. Fuck, it felt good.

The next day I got up early to finally finish writing my articles due in tomorrow, so I'd have the afternoon free. Edward left for work about half seven, but promised he'd be home early afternoon today which I was very pleased about. At around half eleven, I'd finished my three articles, had sent them to my boss and was waiting for Rosalie to answer the phone.

"Hello?" A very breathless Rosalie answered the phone.

"Hey, if this isn't a bad time I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping?" I knew she was most likely with Luke whilst the elder two were at school, so she might not want to go out.

"God yes. I've been cooped in this house for what feels like forever. Do you mind if Luke comes? I feel bad ringing my mom on such short notice…"

"Of course not! I look forward to seeing my nephew."

"I'll come and pick you up in about half an hour," she said and the line went dead. I was looking forward to seeing her because I completely chicken-shitted out of talking to Edward about Tanya last night and I wanted to see what Rosalie would say, incase she had any advice that was more appealing to me than Alice's.

Just after 12, Rose's car beeped from outside, so I locked up and ran down the drive, jumping into the passenger seat, blowing a kiss to Luke in the back.

"How are you?" I asked as Rose pulled away from my house.

"Alright, I can't wait to get this baby out of me. She's making it almost impossible to do anything." _Well I'd do anything to get a baby in me in the first place. _I smiled at her in response, even though she was watching the road.

We wandered around the shops for a couple hours and Rose bought some pink baby-grows and bedding for her little girl, she said after three boys and always having to use the colour blue, her little girl would be smothered from the amount of pink she'd wear. We stopped into a little café so Rose could feed Luke and also so she could sit down for a while as her feet were killing her.

"Can I ask you about something?" I said.

"Yeah… What's wrong?" she answered, looking suspiciously at me.

"Well, you know Edward has this new assistant and since he first mentioned her, I've just had this really bad feeling about her being around him. I hoped she'd be hideous but I met her the other day and she was gorgeous and if I noticed then Edward must've. I just don't like how he spends all this time with her at the office, even staying late some nights. Alice said I needed to talk to him about it, just to air my insecurities. What do you think?"

"You don't think he'd actually cheat, do you?" she said, eyebrows raised.

"No… Yes. I have no idea. I mean, I don't think he'd consciously set out to do it and hurt me in the process, but I could see him getting caught up in the moment."

"I hate to agree with her, but Alice is right. Just talk to him. You shouldn't feel scared or nervous about it, he's your husband and he'll probably just be very understanding and once he realizes you're upset he'll most likely spend a lot less time around her."

"Yeah, okay. Tonight. I'll definitely talk to him tonight."

I got home around half three and to my surprise, Edward was sat on the sofa watching TV.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you to be home already," I said, grinning.

"Yeah, well nothing was happening at work so I thought I'd come home," he said, "Where were you?"

"Baby shopping with Rose." I kicked off my shoes and sank into the sofa next to him.

"How is she?" he said, putting his arm round me.

"Tired but Luke was so adorable and well behaved. He didn't complain once, I don't know how she does it with him – like how she keeps them so quiet… There's no way I'll ever be able to do that." Edward reassured me that I would be able to because I'd make an amazing mother, to which I just laughed. After five minutes or so of silence, I decided I should just talk to Edward. Rose was right when she said that he was my _husband_, I shouldn't have such apprehensions about something that will probably mount to nothing.

"Can I talk to you about something?" I said, taking his free hand.

"What's up?" he said, glancing sideways at me and rubbing circles into my hand.

"Okay. First off, don't for a minute think I don't trust you but I just feel a bit insecure and I didn't know how to bring it up with you. Alice and Rose basically told me to just get over myself and talk to you and they were so right-"

"What is it? The fact you had to point out that you do trust me makes me think that in a minute I'm going to think you don't trust me... If that even makes sense," he said, eyebrows creased. I turned to face him fully and he did the same.

"Honestly, I just have this really horrible feeling in my gut whenever you leave for work because I know you're spending your day with Tanya. Whenever you mention her I cringe a bit and I don't know why. I'm just finding it hard with you working so closely to a woman whose our age and is obviously drop dead gorgeous. I just keep thinking you'll think all this baby hassle and everything isn't worth it and pack up and leave me for her. I know it's completely irrational and I don't have anything to worry about but there's just this nagging feeling in the back of my mind," I said, letting out a deep breath and not making any eye contact with Edward.

"Do you honestly believe I'd even consider being with Tanya? That I'd actually leave you? Everyone has insecurities and I understand because I'd probably be the same if you were working with a man who you liked being around, but fuck, Bella the idea never crossed my mind. We get along great but she is still just an employee and I've never looked at her in that way. You're the most beautiful and important woman in my life and nothings ever going to change that," he said, pulling up my chin so I'd look at him.

"I know and I'm sorry," I whispered, seeing the hurt in his eyes. I felt like a complete bitch for hurting his feelings. I know if the situation was reversed I'd be offended that Edward could think I'd cheat on him or even think about being with someone else

"It's fine," he said, smiling gently at me.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too… Do you want to go out for dinner tonight? We should spend some more time together and we've not been out in a while."

"That would be great actually," I said, grinning at him.

**There we go... I did consider the situation blowing up and them having a fight but thought against it. It didn't look right when I wrote it. I'm also aware that this is a fairly shit chapter so I apologize. **

**Next chapter within a few days, I promise! **

**xxx**


	6. Esme

**I have not broken my promise! **

**Thank you for the reviews and for all your support, I hope you enjoy this chapter xxx**

**(PS, I haven't reread it so I apologize for any mistakes) **

**BPOV**

Edward and I ate in a small Indian restaurant together before he took us down the road for coffee and cake. I insisted that the curry was filling enough but Edward wasn't having it, he said he rarely spoils me anymore and that wasn't right of him. So, here I was, in a small booth with Edward sharing a piece of chocolate fudge cake.

"Thanks for taking me out. I don't deserve it at all… I've been a bitch," I said, leaning my head against his shoulder.

"No you haven't, you've never been a bitch in our entire relationship," he said, kissing me on my head.

"Mhmm."

"Jasper's been annoying the shit out of me because I keep forgetting to ask you about how Alice feels about their relationship."

"About what in particular?" I asked.

"Well he was thinking about asking her if she wanted to move in together but didn't want her to think they were moving too fast."

"Oh my gosh! He should totally ask her, there's no way she'd say no."

"Okay, he'll be pleased to hear." We finished our cake and headed home. I was so happy to have spent some time with Edward somewhere other than our house and felt much better about everything with Tanya as well as feeling closer to Edward. Once we got home, we headed upstairs where I collapsed on top of the bed.

"I'm so full," I said, grabbing my bloated stomach. Edward grinned at me and took off his shirt, laying it on top of a chair. He came and lay next to me, pulling me into his arms. I leaned up onto my elbow and looked down at him smiling up at me. I leaned down and kissed him, threading my fingers into his hair. Edward grabbed my ass and rolled us over, leaning over me.

"I love you so much," he said, pushing my dress up.

"I love you too," I said, wrapping my legs around his waist. He grabbed them and spread them again so he could get up and take off his trousers, whilst he did that I pulled off my dress and underwear but he was soon back in his place. Moments later, he was thrusting in out of me whilst sucking on my left nipple.

"Ohh, fuck… Edward," I breathed. He tightened the grip he had around my hips and went deeper. Soon my breaths were coming out in short gasps and I was cumming hard. A few minutes later Edward came too and we both collapsed, panting. I rolled over until my head was on his chest and kissed his chest, running my hand up and down his chest. After a while of just laying together, we got up to use the bathroom before cuddling in bed before we fell asleep together.

The week passed fairly fast and Edward wasn't home late once. The amount of times he talked about Tanya reduced a noticeable amount as well and I appreciated his obvious effort in trying to not bring her up as often. It was now Saturday and I was preparing the guest room for Edward's parents. I was looking forward to them staying but it was inevitable that Esme would spend a lot of her time asking about grandbabies and she hadn't yet caught on that it was a sensitive subject – she was almost as eager as I was for a new addition in the family.

They arrived around seven that evening after being in traffic for most of the day. Edward took their bags upstairs whilst I made the final touches on dinner. Ten minutes or so later, we were seated and had just begun dinner.

"Thank you for letting us stay, I know you two are busy with work at the moment," Carlisle said.

"Not that busy… Even if we were, I'd still want you to have come," Edward answered.

"So you two," Esme said, "Am I any closer to becoming a grandma?" She was grinning like crazy and I tensed slightly at her words. _This must be a record time, twenty minutes after she got through the door._

"Uh, we're working on it," Edward replied, attempting a carefree smile.

"Besides," I said, clearing my throat, "You have three to keep you busy."

"Yes but I'm so curious to see what your baby would look like… I bet she'd have light hair and green eyes…. Presuming it's a she." My eyes welled up as she described a child I so desperately wanted. I hastily excused myself from the table, with the excuse of needing the toilet and retreated to mine and Edward's bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and wiped away the tears that were freely falling from my eyes – I wished getting pregnant hadn't become such an obsessive behavior of mine but I couldn't help it. I was so unbelievably _desperate _for a baby. I was broken out of my thoughts with a soft knock on the door. I stood and pressed down my trousers, wiping under my eyes for any excess moisture before opening the door and coming face to face with a very apologetic looking Esme.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked softly.

"Of course," I said, opening the door wider and taking a seat back on the bed. She shut the door behind her and sat next to me, taking my hand.

"Edward just got pretty mad at me for upsetting you… I am so sorry Bella, I didn't know you to had been trying to get pregnant. I thought you didn't even want children at the moment and if I had known I would have never opened my stupid-"

"Esme it's fine," I said, cutting her off, "There was no way you could have known because we didn't tell you. I'm just super sensitive about it and I know it stresses Edward out but I can't help it."

"You can talk to me about it, you'd be surprised how much a mother's wisdom can help," she said, giggling softly and breaking the tension in the room. It might actually be beneficial if I talked to her about it, I'd only spoken to Rose and Alice briefly about it and I didn't express how much it was truly bothering me then.

"We've been trying for nearly seven months now and nothings changing. I hate that I've let sex just become about getting pregnant and we're both stressed about it and that reduces chances of conceiving. Edward has tried to convince me that we should stop trying so hard and just see what happens but because I'm so obsessive about it I always say no, even though I know he' s right and every month he has to calm me down when I find out I'm not pregnant. I haven't even asked how he feels about it and I don't want to know what he'd say because I know it would upset me even more and I just feel like it's all my fault," I said, feeling defeated and crying again.

"Firstly, I can guarantee Edward probably feels it's his fault too. Chances are he feels that he isn't man enough to get you pregnant but is putting on a brave face because he's supposed to look after you. It's neither of your fault… I've always believed that everything happens for a reason, and if you aren't getting pregnant right now, maybe it's because it isn't meant to happen just yet… Maybe it will happen in a month or two months because that is when the time will be right. It will happen Bella, I know it will but I think Edward is right, you both need to focus on something else for a while – distract yourselves. Also, you need to stop making sex about getting pregnant and try and go back to when it was just for you two to show each other you loved each other. The most important thing you do is talk to Edward about it though, in itself that will reduce the stress and you'll be able to deal with it together. I honestly think that as soon as you stop trying, you'll get pregnant. Just try and trust me on this Bella." I nodded and hugged Esme tight, thanking her for talking to me before we rejoined Carlisle and Edward downstairs. I kissed Edward once we sat back down and held his hand for the rest of the evening. As soon as his parents left, Edward and I needed to talk about this baby situation.

**So Bella's feeling happier…**

**The actual plot is going to start in the next few chapters now so yay. Things should get interesting.**

**Thanks for reading guys xxxx**


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